Napalm Pork Chops

3.33 average, 6 votes
2008 November 16


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This recipe is great for a few reasons… obviously one of them is because you get to eat pork, hot pork, really hot pork. For those of us that sweat while we eat, this meal will have very few unforeseen side effects. But if you’re not used to having a little sweat running down to your ass crack, have copious amounts of beer standing by to extinguish the flames coming off your tongue.

The marinade is quick & easy to prepare. Here’s what you need to ignite your bowels:


  • 4 boneless 1/2 inch or thicker pork chops (I prefer 1 inch)
  • 1/2 bottle of your favorite Habanero sauce
  • Garlic powder
  • Whole black pepper (to crush with a pepper grinder)
  • Extra virgin olive oil (is there such a thing anymore? I’d like to meet her)
  • Cavender’s Greek Seasoning

We start by making the marinade. Grab a mixing bowl and pour in 1/2 the contents of the Habanero sauce bottle. Add a teaspoon of garlic powder, a teaspoon of freshly ground black pepper, and a teaspoon of Cavender’s Greek seasoning. Next, add 6-8 tablespoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Now, grab a fork (or, if you’re really savvy in the kitchen, a whisk) and rapidly mix/blend the contents until it’s a somewhat orange-colored sauce (this may take 30 seconds max, unless you’re a wuss).

Now grab your chops. Take a basting brush and generously apply the marinade to each side of the chop. Try to use all the sauce (the hotter the pork chops, the more beer you get to drink).

Lay the pork chops in a shallow glass dish, cover, and place in the fridge for 45 minutes or so. Things you can do in 45 minutes: drink 1-3 beers, light up and get through half a cigar, play half a match of soccer.

Preheat your grill and cook the chops on medium to medium-high about 7 minutes per side. Flip only once. Remove chops from the grill and place on a large plate. Grab a napkin large enough to double as a bib or a wipe rag to keep you from sweating all over your chops.

Warning: while this recipe has yet to actually render a man unconscious while eating, it can render him useless within 24 hours as the seasoning, shall we say, makes it’s way through the digestive system.

Pardon us please, while we pay for beer...

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