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Ass Kickin'

No fire in the belly.


The Hot Pepper Primer

Ass Kickin' Hot Sauce

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By Big Belly Brian Bailey

SouthwestOn a recent trip to sunny Florida my youngest sister did some souvenir shopping. She returned with the old standbys: a T-shirt for mom, a shot glass for my other sis and a bottle of hot sauce for me. She knows me well. She said she liked the name. Ass Kickin' (tm) Hot Sauce. I must admit I enjoyed the name myself. However, there was something terribly amiss.

It didn't kick my ass.

The ingredients list contains both habanero and serrano peppers, and as anyone who has used the Belly's guide to Chili Peppers knows, these are two potential rip your ass out peppers. But something has gone terribly wrong with this sauce. There was no ripping, and there was hardly any burning--coming in OR going out. It was a disappointment. Don't get me wrong, there is definitely a peppery bite in the midst of the sweet tomatoey concoction. But it is no different from the bite one could get with ordinary cracked black pepper.

Add to this the fact that the sauce just doesn't taste that good, and you have a pretty poor hot sauce. I tried it on sandwiches--too sweet. I added it to eggs--too thick. I dropped some in ramen soup--it added some heat, but I could taste it too much. It was just too overpowering of a taste on everything. That wouldn't be so bad, except the taste competed with whatever the sauce was being used to help.

Plus it didn't kick my ass!

Name aside (it is a cool name), there isn't anything to get all that excited about with Ass Kickin' (tm) Hot Sauce. There ought to be a law...

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