So not to leave you salivating and waiting, let’s look at two recipes that can get you started with just a squirt of instruction.
Sloooooow Smoked Standing Rib Roast "Not cheap...but out of this world."
Cooking Time: 4-5 Hours (Rare)
Use vertical smoker or indirect method on charcoal grill. Smoke at 210º-220º
Shopping List:
2 Bone Standing Beef Rib Roast (minimum)
3 Bottles English Ale
2-3 cloves of Fresh Garlic
Dried Onion
White and Black Pepper
Salt
Day Before: Leaving the fat on the meat, score the fat in 2 directions to make a crosshatch pattern. Don’t cut into the meat, just the fat. Rub the meat and fat with a mixture of: 2-3 cloves of smashed and finely chopped fresh garlic, coarse ground black pepper, ground white pepper and a breeze of salt. All this stuff you can get from the spice aisle at the supermarket (that’s the place where you often go to get beer… they have other aisles besides "Beverages"). Wrap tightly in plastic wrap and heave into the fridge.
Cooking A.M.: Remove the cow from fridge an hour or two before cooking and prepare fire (see above). It won’t spoil in an hour or two and cooks better this way. Distribute the briquettes when ashed and empty a few beer bottles into the water pan with a 1/2 gallon of hot water.
Place meat on top center, sprinkle with dried onion flakes, cover and smoke. Add moist chunks of favorite wood (see above) after 2 hours. Do not over choke with smoke as beef picks up smokiness easily.
Rib should cook about 40 min. per pound- use an internal meat thermometer when you think it is getting close to being done. Insert the thermometer way early to protect your investment! Remove the roast 5ºF shy of your temperature goal because it will continue to cook once removed. Use 145ºF for rare, and 160ºF for medium. We won’t even talk about well done. And USE the thermometer damnit! You don’t want to bugger up a piece of dead animal that you spent as much for as a half-barrel for. Let the roast stand AT LEAST 30 minutes prior to cutting to allow the juices you scared into the middle come back out. (Go ahead, get some of that fat; you’ll hug yourself).
Just prior to serving, run a sharp, thin knife around the bone at the bottom to separate the bone and cut off the fat where the roast comes to a point. Slice as you like, the thinner the better and serve on a warm platter in the roasts own juices with roasted potatoes, your favorite dead plants and of course, more ale.
Apple Smoked Pork Loin
"a succulent meal...plus"
Approx. Cooking Time: 6 hours
Shopping List:
2-4 lb. Center Cut Boneless Pork Loin
1/2 gal. Apple Juice or Liquid Concentrate
apple sauce
allspice seasoning
ground garlic
pepper
10 lbs. good charcoal
Night Before: Dust the whole loin with a mixture of allspice, poultry seasoning, pepper and a touch of coarse ground garlic. Coat the loin good with unspiced apple sauce and place in a zip lock type bag on a plate in the fridge. Remove 1-2 hrs. prior to smoking.
Cooking Time: After the standard fire startup drill and your briquettes have ashed, add gallon of juice and a gallon or so of water to the smoker water pan and float in 2 sliced apples (core and all). If you are cooking in a regular grill, place the charcoal on the sides and a drip pan on the grate underneath the roast. Forget the water and use 2 cups of apple juice and one sliced apple.
Remove the loin from the baggie, leaving on as much of the spiced apple sauce mixture as you can, but don’t knock yourself out. Place loin on the rack, fat side up and smoke at 225°F. Wait one hour before adding apple wood chunks or your favorite wood chunks--that have been wet for at least 30 minutes--to the hot charcoal. Use 2 single handful’s of wet chips or chunks every 2 hours. Add a dozen more charcoal briquettes every hour or so after 2-3 hours to maintain a good fire.
One hour before removing the pigster from the smoker or, when the internal temperature is around 130 °F, wrap the roast in heavy duty aluminum foil as to catch all the remaining juices that will fall and place back on the smoker or grill. Stick a meat thermometer through the foil, on top, and remove from the cooker around 160°F. Let the smoked swine rest for 30 minutes in the foil before slicing.
Pour the juices onto the bottom of your serving plate, thinly slice the roast and lay in the juices. Serve with veggies and potatoes or place on insanely fresh sandwich buns with your favorite barbecue sauce and baked beans on the side. SON!
